Truck seen in Disney’s MGM studios area.
We get telephone calls from robots. They say they want money.
Starting a couple of years ago or so, we started receiving mechanized telephone calls, the recordings would say (in essense) that a debt was owed, and that a certain toll-free number was to be called. The caller I.D. number was set up so it couldn’t be called. The message never said one word about who owed the debt or to whom the debt was owed. I did some research. It was a phony-baloney fraudulent “debt collection” agency, well known to the Federal Trade Commission and others. I found an address for them (I don’t recall how) and sent a letter (on legal letterhead of course), stating that I had a client who was assigned the telephone number they were calling, and that if they had a legitimate debt to be collected, to let me know who the alleged debtor was, and that if it matched my client’s name, we’d look into it further. I said a few other things, too, like illegal debt collection practices, do not call lists, etc. I copied the letter to the FTC and to Florida’s Department of Consumer Affairs. These calls stopped pretty promptly.
Lately, we’ve been getting calls from two robots. They both allude to indebtedness, giving no names of debtor/creditor. They each call about once a day. I’ve decided, for now, to ignore them. One does mention the name of the alleged debt collector, a Marketa Associates, or some such thing. Toll free numbers are given. I will not call them. In fact, we have a practice that we will never respond to a mechanized phone call. If they cannot bother having a human call, we can’t be bothered (as humans) to call back. My view is that any legitimate business matter requires a human, and (not and/or) written communication with documentation of the subject in question. My personal recommendation is that no one, ever, call these types of outfits back. P.S. we don’t owe anyone any money. So, now, The Hammers of Hell:
1. Zombie Debt: Certain unscrupulous, mangy, ugly, and probably pedophilic “collection agents” are engaged in the practice of “zombie debt collection.” This involves old debts, real, imagined, invented and/or fraudulent. They could be paid debts, debts discharged in bankruptcy, debts no longer legally enforceable because of statutes of limitations, or even completely false claims of indebtedness (including “debts” incurred via identity theft). These hounds of hades pester people into agreeing to pay something. It’s a multi-billion dollar business these days. The Perps pick up the “debt” for pennies on the dollar (or for no pennies at all), and commence their depredations. One lady was hounded for a “debt” which had arisen because her identity was stolen. She flat-out didn’t owe the money. She sued the Hellhound pursuing it, and was paid $40,000 by way of setlement. Yay! End of story? Nope. Not long after, another Debt Collection Fiend contacted her about the very same alleged debt. I hope she just continues to sue these folks, and recovers enough money to make a living. I think I’ve got a link.
If anyone, ever, contacts you about an alleged debt you do not feel you owe, demand a complete written history of the alleged debt, including written proof the Imp of Satan contacting you has legally acquired the right to pursue the obligation, and if you do not believe you owe it, don’t pay it, not a farthing, not a pfennig. In most cases, there will be no legal action. If they threaten to darken your credit reports, threaten back to sue them if they do. Fuckers.
2. Damned Greenies. The founder of the weather channel, whose name may come to me (John Coalman, er, Coleman), wants to sue Al Gore. This guy, who invented the first television channel more boring than test patterns or Knight Rider re-runs, has decided that all talk of man-caused global warming/climate change is the “greatest scam ever perpetrated.” He is probably foaming at the mouth as I type, deep in his bunker somewhere. He wants to sue Al Gore, I guess, for his opinions, or for voicing them, or something. Guess what Mr. Dipshit Dumbass, you can’t sue people for what they think! What is your cause of action gonna be? Lessee: Comes now Mr. Asshat and sues Mr. Gore, and as and for his cause of action states: Mr. Gore is putting it about that human action is contributing to global warming and such warming is a threat to the earth. Mr. Asshat further alleges that such talk is not correct. Now therefore Mr. Asshat wishes [well, what the fuck could he sue for? injunction? money damages?] that the Honorable Court (which is probably about to hold him in contempt) grant such relief that it finds in its infinite wisdom to be appropriate. How do people this stupid, this venal, with their heads this far up their ass manage to found television shows and, doubtless, get rich. [Don't get me wrong, I'm perfectly aware that those who become rich develop a notion that whatever the expertise which made them rich, it also makes them experts on Every Damn Subject In The Universe].
And guess what, I don’t even have to take sides in the global warming debate to hold the above expressed opinions about this Imp of Satan, Mr. Weatherchannel hisself. I thought I had a link. I’ll try to scrounge it up.
Maybe I’m done.
